donderdag 12 april 2018

Translated text of Gorky Look "Полишенвиршафт, або Панство бакланство" --> Polischenwirtschaft

Original text is taken from here


For a long time we did not deal with foreign affairs and that's a shame. Correcting this.

Many of my compatriots have a feeling that if Poland "Is not yet lost" (Polish anthem), it's been already fucked up completely.

And this is understandable feeling, because the irrationality of Poland is incomprehensible to many of us. The land of miracles, where one Kachinsky is killed by a Russians birch (a tree, not Borislav (1. reference to Ukrainian MP whose name translates from Ukrainian as "Birch", 2. Refernce to Polish government airplain crash near Smolensk)), after which the second Kaczynski begins to passionately love Russian birches. And we are anxiously watching whether the third and fourth Kaczynski will appear, one of which will be a neo-fascist, the second would be a gay and then there will be a fifth and a sixth, a hipster and a football ultras, and so on, right up to the Brazilian carnival of Kachinskys.

We, zupans (self irony, can be interpreted as red necks, mortals), do not understand these twists.

Everything is possible out there. The Land of Winged Hussars is a particularly tricky place of space where any opinion, even the worst one, can become a foundation of the state policy. This was even at the time of the Commonwealth, where they came up with the "Liberal Veto". And what is interesting is that for a while it worked. In Russia, the "Liberal Veto" would have led to two days of stunned radio silence, and then to the swift massacre and scraps of tactical commands on the air. After that, radioactive Russia would have to be rediscovered by international stalkers in leaded suits.

And the Poles somehow lived, though not for long. What can be considered a world record of the state existence in the conditions of officially legalized anarchy and screw-up. Kind of a Tortuga in Europe.

We are between the opposite poles of the Slavic world - Poland and Russia, absolute antagonists. And that's why the high voltage current flows through us, due to the electrical potential difference. We have phantom visions becuase of this current in our nation's mind - Polish Negroes riding on Abrams tanks, so black and cool that they can not be seen either through the night or in the thermal goggles. Or the Poles' attempts to take away the original "Polish" city of Lviv, founded by Ukrainians and inhabited by Jews.

This one is beautiful too - an attempt by the Poles to legislatively approve the interpretation of the history of Ukraine with criminal responsibility for disagreement. Well, it's like the Belgians would now be banned from discussing their behavior in Congo, punished by a year of corrective work. Or China would file a lawsuit against the USA for landing on the Moon, because it is the Chinese that are "lunolics", so it is impossible to fly to the Moon without their permission.

And we are shaking in convulsions because of this current.

***
I will not analyze the causes and consequences of the "Volyn massacre," as the Poles call it. Just consider the Polish "pacification" and the Ukrainian resistance on a powerful negative historical background.

The diagnosis is in the name "Volyn massacre" itself. If the massacre was Mazovian or Warsaw I would be the first to ask for forgiveness. But you ask a Pole: "what did you do in Volhynia in a first place?" He blinks at you and mumbles something like: "Well, we were there ..."

What immediately comes to my mind is the railway conductor from the soviet cartoon asking the crocodile Gena and Cheburashka (famous cartoon heros) - where are their tickets stolen by (anti-hero) Shapoklyak? "They were there..."

The Belgians from Congo, too, "were there", but I do not remember the attempts of the Belgians to ask Congo for their money. In general, attempts by the colonialists to demand repentance from the Indians and compensation for resistance to occupation - is the very "Poland is totally lost" (refers to the Polish anthem) in its pure form.

And the attempt to establish its official history on the territory of a foreign sovereign country is roughly what Putin is doing here with the sacred Crimea and the narrow-tongued (refers to the scrambled "russian-tounged") Donbass. This is an entirely open claim of Poland to the territory of Ukraine. Well, then it's completely unclear for us why Russia is an aggressor and Poland is an ally? Because some Poles help us?

So 14% of Russians do the same apologizing for Putin. We have on one side Kachinskiy, on the other side Putin. In the end we have "KaPutin" as a neighbor. Hände hoch, guys.

And we must understand why, with all this, the Poles are not the Russians.

***
The fact is that Poland exists simultaneously in three different dimensions. There are the People of Poland, there is the Population of Poland, and there is the State of Poland. And they, as weird as it is, do not intersect in reality at all.

The People are a kind of historical consolidation, in which Winged Hussars and Dragoonians ride their nobel steeds, fighting at Vienna and Tsetsora, and filling the ages with thunder of hoofs and a clang of armor. The Population are the Boleks and Loleks (Polish cartoon) doing nothing but watching TV and drinking beer. And the State, a bunch of absolutely sporadically surfaced buttheads like those altrights who are now flirting with their electorate by humiliating Ukraine.

The Polish People are traditionally standing with us against the age-old Muscovite aggressor. But the People do not physically exist, only historically.

Polish Bolek and Lolek don't give a shit except for beer and TV. And cheap contraband cigarettes from the Kresy Wschodnie (reference to the colonized Ukrainian territory in the past).

And the Polish State uses us stupidly in its own interests and always with mutual harm. Because it flickers at a speed of 50 hertz according to the traditions of Rzeczpospolita (Poland), the "Liberal veto" and the drunken slaughters at their Sejms (polish parliament). It generally does not have a definite position towards our position (sorry for the tautology). 'Cause, as soon as it finds a position, it is either smashed by the russian birch (reference to Smolensk airplain crash with all Polish government on board), or it is kicked out by political competitor. Being friends with the State of Poland is like keeping a hamster at home. Once you got used to it, it's already dead.

So it was, for example, during the Second World War. The Great Polish People had historically pissed off the Germans, the buffled Population had to fight for their land with weapons and the Polish State quickly escaped through Romania to London. And from there they urged the Population to turn back into the People. Because otherwise the State would have nowhere to return to and they wouldn't be be able to rule the Population without People.

We are different. We have forelocked soldiers (refers to traditional cossack forelocks) and we do not understand this. It causes our confusion and bewilderment. Why not so long ago the Ukrainian president and the Polish one pronounced a prayer together for mutual repentance and forgiveness,  then something twisted and cracked in their heads and now prayers are forgotten and criminal laws are being passed instead? Tomorrow something will twist and crack again - and Poland will start apologizing for Berestechko (refers to Polish-Ukrainian battle). Then it will crack once again and they will demand to give them Moscow for False Dmitry (refers to russian tsar). It depends on how the electoral solitaire breaks up.

Poland, as an ally, is such a hubble that if you step on it you will fully go under water. Our allies are the United States, Britain, Israel, Germany. Where the People, the Population and the State are somehow connected on the basis of history and common interests.

As for the Poles, one must understand that they are screw-ups, though not evil. But screw-ups. But not evil. But screw-ups. And absolutely useless for us geopolitically. Although not very harmful. Although two Poles tried to burn Hungarian school in Ukraine but escaped. Because they are screw-ups. Tomorrow they will help repairing this school.

Respect their People with whom we historically were enemies but also were friends. Sympathize with their Population because, when Boleks and Loleks are not watching their TV, they wish our victories and they help us. And the State should be treated like a hamster which will die tomorrow anyway, whatever way you treat it.

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